1.XXXBlackBook :Click here to View Page
This website is highly recommended, this is the best adult dating site I think
that has ever been created. It's got EVERYTHING you want, I'm serious. You can even
webcam chat with the girl you want to possibly meet up with, watch her videos and
see all the pictures she uploaded (even +18 plus ones!) I use this site the most, you can
find girls who just want to hook up, or have a “open relationship” or even find ones
who want a real relationship! I rate this site 10/10
2.iHookup - Click here to View Page
There are three sections to this site, this is why it's 2nd on my list. The site above has
a lot more features, and more people on it. Adult Dating Personals, live out your sexual fantasies and
discover a new playmate online or adult swingers, whether you are looking for a one night stand, or
casual sex encounters, the Adult Club is where the game is played. Online Dating Personals, if you are looking for a new friend, romance or a long-term relationship, the Dating Club provides all the online dating tools you need to meet people of similar interests. Alternative Dating Personals, explore your kinky side and get nasty. If you enjoy BDSM and fetishes or practice a different range of sexual and sensual activities then IwantU has the club for you. I rate this site 8/10
3. AdultFriendFinder - Click here to View Page
This site has been around for so long I don't really need to write anything about it.
I still use it though, but hardly ever. This was the first website I have ever used, and its
making the 3rd spot because of that. I just never had much luck with it,
but I did meet a few amazing women on here. I rate this site 7/10
Avoid Any "Awkward Silence" With This 1 Bizarre Trick
"I've heard this tragic story far too many times..."
You can feel this excruciating moment coming on from a mile away.
The conversation with this cute girl started off great. She's smiling, laughing, clearly becoming more interested and more attracted as you continue.
Then...it happens.
Call it a brain fart, a blank mind, a loss for words. The only thing that matters is, it brings the conversation to a complete hault and you can feel her attraction levels for you dropping faster than a drunk girl in stilletos.
So what can you do to pull the conversational nose-dive back into the high flying interaction it was?
You dig into your toolbox. Your social toolbox, that is.
I'll share with you my absolute favorite conversation-saving tool.
This is a guaranteed way to save any conversation with a girl, PLUS it's so perfectly constructed, that it easily allows for sexual innuendo to get her mind "in the right place" while still being in the context of pure, NON-NEEDY and FUN banter.
It's a little game I like to call "FMK" and it will be your new best friend.
When you deploy the FMK game, any drooping conversation will instantly be turned around.
You will leap beyond the average lame guys who approach her with the same old boring pickup lines and dull conversations.
So it goes like this:
When you start to run out of things to say, just as you can feel that her attraction is about to start dipping down...
You turn to her, and you say:
"Hey, let's play a game real quick."
Watch as her eyes sparkle with curiosity. This is a departure from the normal night-time drivel she's used to dealing with. She will almost certainly invite you to proceed.
Continue to the game. Start to glance around the room, assessing the other guys you see and start to point them out one by one, and asking her "ok, so would you fuck, marry or kill him?"
She'll laugh at first. Then she'll look over at your target and size him up.
Choose different types of guys representing the spectrum of personality types and behaviors.
A jock. A douchebag. A nerd. A handsome debonair type. A bad-boy rocker. A business guy.
This will do a few things:
1) You will get an insight into what she values in a man, and how she operates. She will give very direct clues to how she wants to be seduced.
If she says "fuck" to the rocker dude, "marry" to the nerdy guy, and "kill" to the guy in a suit...then you can guess that she's got a wild side, she doesn't like guys with a lot of structure, and she's a secret nerd.
Think about that... she'll basically be giving you a HUGE hint into how to seduce her.
If you know the 4 things that every girl needs to know before she thinks about sleeping with a guy, it will pretty much be deal-closer.
More on that in a few...
2) You can continue bantering and teasing her. This is so crucial to the first stage of the interaction.
Keep conversation light, non-needy (teasing her playfully) and fun!
Make fun and silly projections about who you guess she'd fuck, marry and kill.
It will be remarkably easy as she's alternating between giggling at her own qwerky tastes, cringing at the dopey guys, and switching to her "ooh la la" voice with the guys that turn her on.
3) Which brings me to my next point...SHE WILL GET TURNED ON.
Remember, you are asking her to bring the thought "who do I want to fuck?" into her mind, and all in the context of an experience that was generated by and shared with you...and only you.
4) Finally...she will see that you are 100% confident in your sexuality and your ability to attract women. You can confidently discuss the theoretical thought of her sleeping with other men, and that doesn't threaten you.
99.99% of dudes would be terrified to even suggest that she even look at another guy when he's talking to her!
Your confidence here will be very, very sexy to women.
After playing this game for even a few minutes, she will be extremely turned on by your creativity, your playfulness, and your confidence...
This sets you up PERFECTLY to transition into the next stage of interaction, build upon the sexual energy in this game, especially if you've been properly mixing in the right "sexual triggers" that all women have.
This is part of the 4 things that every girl needs to decide to sleep with a guy.
If you haven't learned about the sexual triggers yet, stop everything and watch this presentation (this shit will change how you attract women forever!) :
Learn how to activate secret "sexual triggers" <--- Get her instantly turned on Cheers,
PS FMK is a great tool to have in your toolbox. There are several others that will absolutely make meeting women a breeze when you go out.
"The Free Drink Technique" and "The Kiss Technique" are a couple that changed my life forever when I discovered them.
Learn more about the sexual triggers, and these amazing secret tools in this free presentation:
[Illegal Seduction Techniques]: Discover these 4 secrets women will never reveal
You can feel this excruciating moment coming on from a mile away.
The conversation with this cute girl started off great. She's smiling, laughing, clearly becoming more interested and more attracted as you continue.
Then...it happens.
Call it a brain fart, a blank mind, a loss for words. The only thing that matters is, it brings the conversation to a complete hault and you can feel her attraction levels for you dropping faster than a drunk girl in stilletos.
So what can you do to pull the conversational nose-dive back into the high flying interaction it was?
You dig into your toolbox. Your social toolbox, that is.
I'll share with you my absolute favorite conversation-saving tool.
This is a guaranteed way to save any conversation with a girl, PLUS it's so perfectly constructed, that it easily allows for sexual innuendo to get her mind "in the right place" while still being in the context of pure, NON-NEEDY and FUN banter.
It's a little game I like to call "FMK" and it will be your new best friend.
When you deploy the FMK game, any drooping conversation will instantly be turned around.
You will leap beyond the average lame guys who approach her with the same old boring pickup lines and dull conversations.
So it goes like this:
When you start to run out of things to say, just as you can feel that her attraction is about to start dipping down...
You turn to her, and you say:
"Hey, let's play a game real quick."
Watch as her eyes sparkle with curiosity. This is a departure from the normal night-time drivel she's used to dealing with. She will almost certainly invite you to proceed.
Continue to the game. Start to glance around the room, assessing the other guys you see and start to point them out one by one, and asking her "ok, so would you fuck, marry or kill him?"
She'll laugh at first. Then she'll look over at your target and size him up.
Choose different types of guys representing the spectrum of personality types and behaviors.
A jock. A douchebag. A nerd. A handsome debonair type. A bad-boy rocker. A business guy.
This will do a few things:
1) You will get an insight into what she values in a man, and how she operates. She will give very direct clues to how she wants to be seduced.
If she says "fuck" to the rocker dude, "marry" to the nerdy guy, and "kill" to the guy in a suit...then you can guess that she's got a wild side, she doesn't like guys with a lot of structure, and she's a secret nerd.
Think about that... she'll basically be giving you a HUGE hint into how to seduce her.
If you know the 4 things that every girl needs to know before she thinks about sleeping with a guy, it will pretty much be deal-closer.
More on that in a few...
2) You can continue bantering and teasing her. This is so crucial to the first stage of the interaction.
Keep conversation light, non-needy (teasing her playfully) and fun!
Make fun and silly projections about who you guess she'd fuck, marry and kill.
It will be remarkably easy as she's alternating between giggling at her own qwerky tastes, cringing at the dopey guys, and switching to her "ooh la la" voice with the guys that turn her on.
3) Which brings me to my next point...SHE WILL GET TURNED ON.
Remember, you are asking her to bring the thought "who do I want to fuck?" into her mind, and all in the context of an experience that was generated by and shared with you...and only you.
4) Finally...she will see that you are 100% confident in your sexuality and your ability to attract women. You can confidently discuss the theoretical thought of her sleeping with other men, and that doesn't threaten you.
99.99% of dudes would be terrified to even suggest that she even look at another guy when he's talking to her!
Your confidence here will be very, very sexy to women.
After playing this game for even a few minutes, she will be extremely turned on by your creativity, your playfulness, and your confidence...
This sets you up PERFECTLY to transition into the next stage of interaction, build upon the sexual energy in this game, especially if you've been properly mixing in the right "sexual triggers" that all women have.
This is part of the 4 things that every girl needs to decide to sleep with a guy.
If you haven't learned about the sexual triggers yet, stop everything and watch this presentation (this shit will change how you attract women forever!) :
Learn how to activate secret "sexual triggers" <--- Get her instantly turned on Cheers,
PS FMK is a great tool to have in your toolbox. There are several others that will absolutely make meeting women a breeze when you go out.
"The Free Drink Technique" and "The Kiss Technique" are a couple that changed my life forever when I discovered them.
Learn more about the sexual triggers, and these amazing secret tools in this free presentation:
[Illegal Seduction Techniques]: Discover these 4 secrets women will never reveal
Kiss Technique
You're about to learn, hands down, the best way to successfully get a
girl to kiss you without fear of rejection. In the advanced version of
this technique, you can even get the girl you're talking to to lean in
to kiss you!
So if you've ever been afraid of getting rejected going for a kiss OR you've gotten "the cheek" you know why having a rock-solid technique to moving in for the kiss is 100% crucial.
Going in for the kiss is probably the worst place to face rejection in an interaction with a girl because:
1) You've invested a lot of TIME by this point in the interaction, and there simply isn't enough time in your night to get this far and then hit a brick wall and have to move on.
2) Screwing up this part of the interaction can ruin all chances of moving on from here to seduction.
Most guys don't have the chance to learn how to perfect going for a kiss because it happens so infrequently!
Even on a good night, most guys will typically find one girl they hit it off with at the bar where a kiss is probably even a possibility.
So normally, you'd have to face a lot of these rejections one by one to learn the best way to successfully go in for a kiss.
But luckily, I've already gone through all those failures for you (until I discovered this killer technique), and can present the best way to avoid failure and shortcut right to success.
Sound good?
The Kiss Technique makes it so that when you're speaking to a woman, you can intentionally give off subconscious triggers that will make her think about kissing you!
Pretty powerful stuff...
If you use this technique, suddenly making a woman want to kiss you will be something you have control over.
If you decide to "wing it" in the stage like most guys, however, you're going to run into problems...
First, you won't know how physically receptive she is to kissing you. A tried and true rule to go by is this:
Your hesitation = Her reservation
So the more you hesitate, the worse your chances get, because she starts to build up all sorts of red flags and reservations.
When you go to lean in for the kiss and you don't do it the right way at the right time, you'll come off as needy (like you don't have a lot of options with women) because if you did have a lot of options, you wouldn't be worrying about the kiss with this girl.
So how do we show that you are absolutely NOT needy (even if you kind of feel like you are) and provide a way so that you will not fear rejection because you will know for sure ahead of time that she is wanting to kiss you?
We use what's called The Kiss Technique.
This involves combining two psychological concepts into a perfect recipe for mastering the kiss.
The first concept is called triangular gazing.
This will happen while you have built rapport and are looking to move into seduction. It involves looking from one eye to another, then looking at her mouth.
When you start looking at her mouth, you will subconsciously start to think about kissing her, because this action is already anchored to the thought of kissing someone.
Even if you look at a woman you're not attracted to and look at her mouth, you can start to think about kissing her, and you will become MORE attracted to her.
The good news is...the same happens for women.
The even BETTER news is...you can lead her to subconsciously start to do this and feel more attracted. How?
By using the second half of the recipe...another psychological concept called Mirroring.
Whenever we are in conversation with someone, we will mirror the leader of the conversation in an attempt to build subconscious rapport with them.
When you perfectly combine triangular gazing and mirroring, you have a combination that will make her subconsciously think about kissing you.
After talking with her in rapport, start to look at her mouth. At first, only for 2 seconds, then look back to her eyes. Switch between her left and right eye, then back to her mouth for a few seconds longer.
Continue to go from left to right eye and back to her mouth for 2 seconds, 3 seconds, then 5 seconds.
Eventually, you want to be mostly looking at her mouth.
When she begins to look at your mouth as well, you know for sure that she's ready to kiss you.
Voila! The Kiss Technique takes all of the guess work out of "making a move".
You will now know with confidence when she wants to kiss you, and get to be the fully assertive but perceptive man that women find irresistibly sexy.
She will feel like you know exactly how to treat a woman and feel safe and confident moving on with you.
Now, if you want to take this technique to the next level and make it so that girls will be leaning in to you and basically begging you to kiss them, you only have to know one magical sentence.
Learn more about the Kiss Technique and the bizarre, magical sentence that activates her "sexual triggers" and makes her lean and practically beg you for the kiss.
So if you've ever been afraid of getting rejected going for a kiss OR you've gotten "the cheek" you know why having a rock-solid technique to moving in for the kiss is 100% crucial.
Going in for the kiss is probably the worst place to face rejection in an interaction with a girl because:
1) You've invested a lot of TIME by this point in the interaction, and there simply isn't enough time in your night to get this far and then hit a brick wall and have to move on.
2) Screwing up this part of the interaction can ruin all chances of moving on from here to seduction.
Most guys don't have the chance to learn how to perfect going for a kiss because it happens so infrequently!
Even on a good night, most guys will typically find one girl they hit it off with at the bar where a kiss is probably even a possibility.
So normally, you'd have to face a lot of these rejections one by one to learn the best way to successfully go in for a kiss.
But luckily, I've already gone through all those failures for you (until I discovered this killer technique), and can present the best way to avoid failure and shortcut right to success.
Sound good?
The Kiss Technique makes it so that when you're speaking to a woman, you can intentionally give off subconscious triggers that will make her think about kissing you!
Pretty powerful stuff...
If you use this technique, suddenly making a woman want to kiss you will be something you have control over.
If you decide to "wing it" in the stage like most guys, however, you're going to run into problems...
First, you won't know how physically receptive she is to kissing you. A tried and true rule to go by is this:
Your hesitation = Her reservation
So the more you hesitate, the worse your chances get, because she starts to build up all sorts of red flags and reservations.
When you go to lean in for the kiss and you don't do it the right way at the right time, you'll come off as needy (like you don't have a lot of options with women) because if you did have a lot of options, you wouldn't be worrying about the kiss with this girl.
So how do we show that you are absolutely NOT needy (even if you kind of feel like you are) and provide a way so that you will not fear rejection because you will know for sure ahead of time that she is wanting to kiss you?
We use what's called The Kiss Technique.
This involves combining two psychological concepts into a perfect recipe for mastering the kiss.
The first concept is called triangular gazing.
This will happen while you have built rapport and are looking to move into seduction. It involves looking from one eye to another, then looking at her mouth.
When you start looking at her mouth, you will subconsciously start to think about kissing her, because this action is already anchored to the thought of kissing someone.
Even if you look at a woman you're not attracted to and look at her mouth, you can start to think about kissing her, and you will become MORE attracted to her.
The good news is...the same happens for women.
The even BETTER news is...you can lead her to subconsciously start to do this and feel more attracted. How?
By using the second half of the recipe...another psychological concept called Mirroring.
Whenever we are in conversation with someone, we will mirror the leader of the conversation in an attempt to build subconscious rapport with them.
When you perfectly combine triangular gazing and mirroring, you have a combination that will make her subconsciously think about kissing you.
After talking with her in rapport, start to look at her mouth. At first, only for 2 seconds, then look back to her eyes. Switch between her left and right eye, then back to her mouth for a few seconds longer.
Continue to go from left to right eye and back to her mouth for 2 seconds, 3 seconds, then 5 seconds.
Eventually, you want to be mostly looking at her mouth.
When she begins to look at your mouth as well, you know for sure that she's ready to kiss you.
Voila! The Kiss Technique takes all of the guess work out of "making a move".
You will now know with confidence when she wants to kiss you, and get to be the fully assertive but perceptive man that women find irresistibly sexy.
She will feel like you know exactly how to treat a woman and feel safe and confident moving on with you.
Now, if you want to take this technique to the next level and make it so that girls will be leaning in to you and basically begging you to kiss them, you only have to know one magical sentence.
Learn more about the Kiss Technique and the bizarre, magical sentence that activates her "sexual triggers" and makes her lean and practically beg you for the kiss.
What makes an average looking guy instantly become "hot"?
If you talk to any number of super hot girls and approach them, you will
start to see one thing over and over - she is going to test you. If you
fail these tests, you will not not hook up with her. Period. You will
join the piles of men she's had to reject because they weren't confident
enough.
The GOOD news is, that there is a way to pass these tests nearly 100% of the time.
Most really hot girls' tests are enough to make men run away with their tails between their legs. If you know the technique to passing, then you are going to be in the VERY small percentage of guys who make it through her defenses and are actually a sexual candidate.
If you don't know this one secret technique, you will fail these tests and never gain entrance into the world of attracting and sleeping with truly beautiful women.
These tests can be one of two types: compliance tests or congruence tests. Today, we are talking about compliance tests. First, let me explain a bit more about these tests and WHY hot women NEED them.
A compliance test is an act or a statement that checks to see if you are going to do whatever she wants. If you comply, she will have gained control over the conversation, the interaction, and you. It seems like they want you to fail these tests so they have the power, right?
Fortunately, that is not the case. When women give compliance tests, they really do want you to pass them. It is their way of filtering out a truly confident, attractive guy from the rest. It may sound strange, but beautiful women honestly can't just look at a guy an say "he's good looking, therefore he's attractive." They need much more because they are approached by so many different types of guys. A really attractive girl will get hit on 10-15 times A DAY.
That's 3,650 times a year (conservatively) that an attractive woman is hit on. She will start to see patterns in the ways guys behave if they are actually confident or not, and that has nothing to do with looks.
The compliance test is really a test to see whether or not they're going to be able to get away with whatever they want. Why you want to test this? Well, they want to find out whether or not you're used to beautiful women hitting on you or whether or not you're used to being with beautiful women.
This is a very crucial concept. If you are used to being with beautiful women, you will not bend over backwards for a beautiful woman just because she wants something. Instead, you will respond in a way that sort of puts the compliance back on her.
Beautiful women are guaranteed to give you compliance tests and if you fail the compliance tests, you are guaranteed not to attract them. So it's very crucial that you learn this.
How do you recognize compliance tests? Basically, look for any demand that she gives you within a short time of meeting that seems small, but gets you to follow.
One very classic compliance test is "buy me a drink."
Women go for throat here when you're in the bar because they don't have a whole lot of time to figure out who is attracted and who is confident, who's not. How you respond to "buy me a drink" is very crucial when you're in a bar.
There are other small things like "why don't you wait here while I go to the bathroom." or "give me a kiss on the cheek" or even "will you take a picture for us?"
Anything that seems kind of harmless is typically a compliance test especially if it's from a really beautiful woman and you don't want to deny the compliance test, what you want to do is take control over it and add your own terms.
For example, if someone says, "Take our pictures." Then you will say, "okay, I will but I want you to take one picture for you and one picture of how I ask you to take it." So if they refused to do this, and you go, "Alright, well find some other guy."
You will actually find some other guy to take the camera and say, "Hey man, can you take their picture?" And you just have them take your picture.
But usually they will say okay fine, you take the picture and you go "okay, now I want you to give me a sexy look." Then take their picture. "Okay now, make a silly face", take a picture. And continue to make them do different pictures as long as you can think of them.
Essentially what you're doing now is you are getting compliance from them. This is crucial. This is called flipping the script and you will hear a lot about this. Flipping the script is one of the most powerful things that you can do to a woman that you don't know and it will create a massive amount of intrigue and a massive amount of attraction that will be built.
So from now on, know and recognize when women is giving you a compliance test. Don't stop and don't reject the compliance test. Add your own terms.
When you start doing this, you are going to see the truly beautiful women in the bar start to treat you in a completely different way. You can actually watch other guys approach, get shot down and see it ruin their nights as you can easily navigate the sea of compliance tests and come out looking like a rockstar, making her more and more attracted to you since you're the kind of guy who won't just do exactly what she wants.
This is one of the "Sexual Triggers" that drive beautiful women wild. The rest of them are revealed in this presentation:
Watch this presentation ←- Discover “stealthy” attraction secrets
The GOOD news is, that there is a way to pass these tests nearly 100% of the time.
Most really hot girls' tests are enough to make men run away with their tails between their legs. If you know the technique to passing, then you are going to be in the VERY small percentage of guys who make it through her defenses and are actually a sexual candidate.
If you don't know this one secret technique, you will fail these tests and never gain entrance into the world of attracting and sleeping with truly beautiful women.
These tests can be one of two types: compliance tests or congruence tests. Today, we are talking about compliance tests. First, let me explain a bit more about these tests and WHY hot women NEED them.
A compliance test is an act or a statement that checks to see if you are going to do whatever she wants. If you comply, she will have gained control over the conversation, the interaction, and you. It seems like they want you to fail these tests so they have the power, right?
Fortunately, that is not the case. When women give compliance tests, they really do want you to pass them. It is their way of filtering out a truly confident, attractive guy from the rest. It may sound strange, but beautiful women honestly can't just look at a guy an say "he's good looking, therefore he's attractive." They need much more because they are approached by so many different types of guys. A really attractive girl will get hit on 10-15 times A DAY.
That's 3,650 times a year (conservatively) that an attractive woman is hit on. She will start to see patterns in the ways guys behave if they are actually confident or not, and that has nothing to do with looks.
The compliance test is really a test to see whether or not they're going to be able to get away with whatever they want. Why you want to test this? Well, they want to find out whether or not you're used to beautiful women hitting on you or whether or not you're used to being with beautiful women.
This is a very crucial concept. If you are used to being with beautiful women, you will not bend over backwards for a beautiful woman just because she wants something. Instead, you will respond in a way that sort of puts the compliance back on her.
Beautiful women are guaranteed to give you compliance tests and if you fail the compliance tests, you are guaranteed not to attract them. So it's very crucial that you learn this.
How do you recognize compliance tests? Basically, look for any demand that she gives you within a short time of meeting that seems small, but gets you to follow.
One very classic compliance test is "buy me a drink."
Women go for throat here when you're in the bar because they don't have a whole lot of time to figure out who is attracted and who is confident, who's not. How you respond to "buy me a drink" is very crucial when you're in a bar.
There are other small things like "why don't you wait here while I go to the bathroom." or "give me a kiss on the cheek" or even "will you take a picture for us?"
Anything that seems kind of harmless is typically a compliance test especially if it's from a really beautiful woman and you don't want to deny the compliance test, what you want to do is take control over it and add your own terms.
For example, if someone says, "Take our pictures." Then you will say, "okay, I will but I want you to take one picture for you and one picture of how I ask you to take it." So if they refused to do this, and you go, "Alright, well find some other guy."
You will actually find some other guy to take the camera and say, "Hey man, can you take their picture?" And you just have them take your picture.
But usually they will say okay fine, you take the picture and you go "okay, now I want you to give me a sexy look." Then take their picture. "Okay now, make a silly face", take a picture. And continue to make them do different pictures as long as you can think of them.
Essentially what you're doing now is you are getting compliance from them. This is crucial. This is called flipping the script and you will hear a lot about this. Flipping the script is one of the most powerful things that you can do to a woman that you don't know and it will create a massive amount of intrigue and a massive amount of attraction that will be built.
So from now on, know and recognize when women is giving you a compliance test. Don't stop and don't reject the compliance test. Add your own terms.
When you start doing this, you are going to see the truly beautiful women in the bar start to treat you in a completely different way. You can actually watch other guys approach, get shot down and see it ruin their nights as you can easily navigate the sea of compliance tests and come out looking like a rockstar, making her more and more attracted to you since you're the kind of guy who won't just do exactly what she wants.
This is one of the "Sexual Triggers" that drive beautiful women wild. The rest of them are revealed in this presentation:
Watch this presentation ←- Discover “stealthy” attraction secrets
How to make out with a girl in 40 seconds or less – for real
If you've ever seen a guy in a bar walk up to a girl he didn't know and
make out with her almost immediately, it can be a completely
mind-blowing experience. It may seem like it's magical or out of reach -
a special ability or super-power that someone is born with.
But it's not. And it can be broken down into a few simple steps you can follow in order to make the same thing happen for you. In this article, I'm going to break down those steps.
The first step is to realize that about 90% of the difference between someone who's really good with women and someone who's not so good or mediocre with women, is the ability to spot a woman who's ready to make out.
I know it sounds kind of crazy at first, but it's true. If you walk into a bar and go up to any woman without knowing what signs to look for, your odds of success go WAY down.
You must know how to spot that woman who's already in this "make-out ready" state, so you can walk up and be "that guy."
Don't buy into the myth that women don't want this to happen.
Women are as sexual (if not more sexual) than guys are. Most of the time, this "turbo" make-out session never happens, because so many guys are afraid to go for it. And when this doesn't happen, the girls end up going home alone or worse.. staying being kind of mean to a lot of guys in the bar/being resentful and angry because no one's approaching them.
By putting this technique into practice, You want to discover how to see the women who you're able to make out with in 40 seconds or less in the first place.
There are a few excellent indicators that will (especially in a bar atmosphere) tell you if a woman is game, or ready for an instant make-out session.
What To Look For
The first indicator is a woman looking down often. When a woman looks down often, she is accessing her emotions.
Let me explain... When we look in different directions, we access different parts of our brain. These are called "Eye Accessing Cues." When a woman is in a bar setting and looking down, she's accessing her emotional brain.
If she makes eye contact with you, looks down then back up again, she's saying: "I have an emotional response to you looking at me and I'm looking down." And if she tilts her head down as well (and doesn't just use her eyes to look down), she's physically dropping herself a little bit lower and showing submission.
This gives you the ability to walk up and be the dominant man.
Now, if she looks at you, smiles and doesn't look away, this could be a lot more difficult situation. Socially, she's meeting you head on, and not showing immediate submission.
Women who you're going to be able to walk up to and make out with in 40 seconds or less should automatically take the submissive role as a woman. That's one quality which shows you'll be able to quickly make out with her.
Another quality is that she's actively looking around to make eye contact. This is crucial. A woman who is engaged with someone specifically and she's not looking away is not going to be as easy to seduce in 40 seconds or less. It's going to take much longer.
Again, you're going to have to play a totally different kind of game when you walk up. You can't just walk up and make out with her.
So instead, if you see a woman who is in a conversation but she's constantly looking around and trying to make eye contact with a lot of people, this is probably a very, very likely opportunity for you and that's a woman you can walk up to and immediately become sexual with.
Other traits are revealed in the way they're moving and how they're dressed. Let's say she's standing with her feet about shoulder-width apart. It's less likely that a woman standing like this is going to be available for you to walk up and dominate. That's because she's standing in a dominant position, with stronger body language and she'll probably be a lot more resistant.
Instead, you want to find a woman who takes up less space. She has her legs closer together and seems to be outside of a group, looking around a little bit.
Another thing is the way she's dressed. If she's dressed in a way that's super flashy and attracting lots of attention, she probably isn't the kind of girl you can walk up to and make out with in 40 seconds.
This kind of women is looking for attention - not for someone to dominate them. What you want is someone who's in between "I don't care" and "Stare at my tits, bitch!" Somewhere between wearing sweatpants with an elastic waistband to the bar and done up really, really beautiful and sexy with a really low-cut shirt. You want to find someone who's in between those two extremes.
A lot of women who are on vacation fall into this realm. They don't want to over dress or under dress, and don't know how the bar atmosphere is going to be. They'll usually come in open-minded, and start looking around trying to make connections. This is an excellent situation for you (and her, of course).
That's what to look for and how you spot her in the first place. If you see some of those, you want to watch her for a second. If you think that she is the kind of person you can walk up to and do this, then proceed.
If not, I'd actually suggest you proceed anyway, just to see what happens.
Next, right after you get that done and you've seen your girl (there are probably three or four of these girls in a bar at any given moment) you're going to walk up and start the scary part.
What To Do
This is where the most powerful kind of frame control comes in. It's very, very important that you understand how to control someone else's frame if you want to come across like you're a pro at this.
By "frame," I basically mean their "reality." You're controlling what they experience. You have to be able to stay in control of that experience in order to really bring her to the level where she feels comfortable making out with you immediately.
I'm going to give you a very quick, punchy, fast way of doing this. I'll explain as quick as possible; that way you can go straight out and try it...
Here's what I would say, word-for-word... Walk up to a girl, when you get up to her and right when she makes eye contact with you, I want you to SLOWLY put your finger up by your lips and say this, "Shhh…"
Then slow your speech pattern down and deepen your vocal tonality. And immediately say, "Wait just one moment."
You can also say, "Stop for one minute." I suggest using a bit of NLP here. Whenever someone hears "stop," "wait," or "don't," they immediately register whatever comes after that.
So if I say, "Don't think of a black cat," what do you do? Immediately, you think of a black cat and whatever version of one you have in your head.
So if I said, "Don't try to make out with me," or "Don't make out with me right now," girls are going to be consciously hearing, "Don't make out with me," but their subconscious minds will be hearing, "Make out with me right now!"
You're attempting to sort of use real-life Inception to get making-out with you to be HER idea. She should be thinking, "I should make out with this guy."
Now, during frame control you'll be using a lot of these subconscious triggers in order to get this to go as fast as possible. Please only use this for good. There are lots of evil ways to use this.
Don't try to seduce women who don't want to be seduced. Again, that's one of the reasons why it's important that you notice a woman who really does want to be seduced by a man.
So to recap so far: you walk up, you put your finger over your lips and you tell her to "Shhh" for a second and then you say a sentence that starts with "don't" or "wait" or "stop."
My typical is "Don't worry... right now." That's all I say. And I slow that speech down – "Don't…worry…....... right now."
Then I go right into the next statement, which is, "You and I are going to have a secret. We're going to secretly kiss and no one will know."
And as I'm saying this, I'm leaning in... and you'll be doing the same when you do it. You're leaning in ever... so... slowly. At the same time, you're looking from her eyes down to her lips and back up to her eyes again.
This is called "Triangulating." Count to three looking at her eyes, then look down to her lips and count to two, look back up and count to three, look down and count to two... etc. Do that about three or four times as you're talking.
This can be a lot to remember, so you may want to practice it a little bit. I wouldn't expect you're going to get it perfect the first time.
So again, you say, "We're going to have a secret. We're going to kiss and no one is going to know." From here on out, you're really just filling up space with words as you're leaning in so you're still controlling the interaction.
So you're going to very, very slowly, take your right or left hand – whichever one is more accessible – and reach around her back. You won't pull her in toward you or anything yet, just touch her very lightly.
Signs That It's Working
Is she looking at your lips? If she's looking at your lips, you have a green light to go forward. If she's looking at your eyes, you may want to wait a second, or turn around and turn back again and try it again.
This resets the meter in her mind, so to speak. When you turn around and turn back again, most people consider this to be a fresh start in a conversation. It's a strange loop-hole in psychology.
For some reason, that's how we are as humans. When someone turns away then turns back, we give them another chance moving forward. So if you're getting some resistance, turn around, turn back, smile, and continue. If she gives you resistance again, you probably should back off and find another woman.
If she's looking at your lips and seems to be very comfortable and excited, then proceed. You'll move in very closely and speak almost directly into her ear.
!Important!
In a loud environment like a bar, you'll want to speak louder, but don't raise your voice. Make your voice very low so that you have to be very, very close to her ear for her to hear.
Then you're going to keep talking... What I usually say is, "No one is going to see this. It's just going to be our little secret. I promise I won't tell anybody only if you promise that you won't tell anybody either."
As I'm saying this into her ear, I make sure that she's feeling my breath on her neck. So I'm sort of breathing out a little bit more than normal as I'm speaking so she can feel that hot air on her neck.
This usually gets a very visceral, deep, sexual response from women when you do this.
As you're speaking really close to her ear, you'll, very slowly, press your cheek against hers as you're talking. Then you'll move you head over so that your mouth is closer to hers, and then... you'll start kissing her.
And if you do this right, you start out with just one soft peck... then go straight into making out. It may not seem like it in this description, but 40 seconds is a long time. This process can happen in a lot less than 40 seconds - I've done it in less time, and I've seen other guys do it, too.
Practice It
What I want you to do is practice this approach. Maybe go for a minute or two at first, and then get to where you can do this in about 40 (or even 30) seconds.
You won't use this tactic all the time. But when the opportunity is right, it's really good to have this in your seduction arsenal. You want to make sure that you have the right kind of tools for the job, so to speak.
Whenever you see a girl who's in that state and ready to be seduced, if you beat around the bush, engage in small talk or generally waste time, she'll be turned off and you've lost a golden seduction opportunity.
Instead, when you spot this, you want to be able to see her, know that that's what she wants, go in, and give it to her immediately. This is the major difference between guys who are rock stars at walking up and seducing a woman... and guys who wish that they were great at quickly seducing a woman.
There are a lot of other success factors as well. There are techniques on how to speak with the right tonality... how to touch her that allows her to feel comfortable and doesn't turn off any of her weird alert switches... specific NLP triggers that you can use to connect and make sure she's totally in your zone.
What's taken me from a normal dude to a well-respected dating coach, is knowing a lot of short-cuts like this and knowing when to bring them out. And these short-cuts can also improve your game with women.
Remember these characteristics in women who want to be seduced, and remember – it is possible to make out with a woman in 40 seconds or less.
Discover my other top 3 "Seduction Secrets" in this special video presentation.
But it's not. And it can be broken down into a few simple steps you can follow in order to make the same thing happen for you. In this article, I'm going to break down those steps.
The first step is to realize that about 90% of the difference between someone who's really good with women and someone who's not so good or mediocre with women, is the ability to spot a woman who's ready to make out.
I know it sounds kind of crazy at first, but it's true. If you walk into a bar and go up to any woman without knowing what signs to look for, your odds of success go WAY down.
You must know how to spot that woman who's already in this "make-out ready" state, so you can walk up and be "that guy."
Don't buy into the myth that women don't want this to happen.
Women are as sexual (if not more sexual) than guys are. Most of the time, this "turbo" make-out session never happens, because so many guys are afraid to go for it. And when this doesn't happen, the girls end up going home alone or worse.. staying being kind of mean to a lot of guys in the bar/being resentful and angry because no one's approaching them.
By putting this technique into practice, You want to discover how to see the women who you're able to make out with in 40 seconds or less in the first place.
There are a few excellent indicators that will (especially in a bar atmosphere) tell you if a woman is game, or ready for an instant make-out session.
What To Look For
The first indicator is a woman looking down often. When a woman looks down often, she is accessing her emotions.
Let me explain... When we look in different directions, we access different parts of our brain. These are called "Eye Accessing Cues." When a woman is in a bar setting and looking down, she's accessing her emotional brain.
If she makes eye contact with you, looks down then back up again, she's saying: "I have an emotional response to you looking at me and I'm looking down." And if she tilts her head down as well (and doesn't just use her eyes to look down), she's physically dropping herself a little bit lower and showing submission.
This gives you the ability to walk up and be the dominant man.
Now, if she looks at you, smiles and doesn't look away, this could be a lot more difficult situation. Socially, she's meeting you head on, and not showing immediate submission.
Women who you're going to be able to walk up to and make out with in 40 seconds or less should automatically take the submissive role as a woman. That's one quality which shows you'll be able to quickly make out with her.
Another quality is that she's actively looking around to make eye contact. This is crucial. A woman who is engaged with someone specifically and she's not looking away is not going to be as easy to seduce in 40 seconds or less. It's going to take much longer.
Again, you're going to have to play a totally different kind of game when you walk up. You can't just walk up and make out with her.
So instead, if you see a woman who is in a conversation but she's constantly looking around and trying to make eye contact with a lot of people, this is probably a very, very likely opportunity for you and that's a woman you can walk up to and immediately become sexual with.
Other traits are revealed in the way they're moving and how they're dressed. Let's say she's standing with her feet about shoulder-width apart. It's less likely that a woman standing like this is going to be available for you to walk up and dominate. That's because she's standing in a dominant position, with stronger body language and she'll probably be a lot more resistant.
Instead, you want to find a woman who takes up less space. She has her legs closer together and seems to be outside of a group, looking around a little bit.
Another thing is the way she's dressed. If she's dressed in a way that's super flashy and attracting lots of attention, she probably isn't the kind of girl you can walk up to and make out with in 40 seconds.
This kind of women is looking for attention - not for someone to dominate them. What you want is someone who's in between "I don't care" and "Stare at my tits, bitch!" Somewhere between wearing sweatpants with an elastic waistband to the bar and done up really, really beautiful and sexy with a really low-cut shirt. You want to find someone who's in between those two extremes.
A lot of women who are on vacation fall into this realm. They don't want to over dress or under dress, and don't know how the bar atmosphere is going to be. They'll usually come in open-minded, and start looking around trying to make connections. This is an excellent situation for you (and her, of course).
That's what to look for and how you spot her in the first place. If you see some of those, you want to watch her for a second. If you think that she is the kind of person you can walk up to and do this, then proceed.
If not, I'd actually suggest you proceed anyway, just to see what happens.
Next, right after you get that done and you've seen your girl (there are probably three or four of these girls in a bar at any given moment) you're going to walk up and start the scary part.
What To Do
This is where the most powerful kind of frame control comes in. It's very, very important that you understand how to control someone else's frame if you want to come across like you're a pro at this.
By "frame," I basically mean their "reality." You're controlling what they experience. You have to be able to stay in control of that experience in order to really bring her to the level where she feels comfortable making out with you immediately.
I'm going to give you a very quick, punchy, fast way of doing this. I'll explain as quick as possible; that way you can go straight out and try it...
Here's what I would say, word-for-word... Walk up to a girl, when you get up to her and right when she makes eye contact with you, I want you to SLOWLY put your finger up by your lips and say this, "Shhh…"
Then slow your speech pattern down and deepen your vocal tonality. And immediately say, "Wait just one moment."
You can also say, "Stop for one minute." I suggest using a bit of NLP here. Whenever someone hears "stop," "wait," or "don't," they immediately register whatever comes after that.
So if I say, "Don't think of a black cat," what do you do? Immediately, you think of a black cat and whatever version of one you have in your head.
So if I said, "Don't try to make out with me," or "Don't make out with me right now," girls are going to be consciously hearing, "Don't make out with me," but their subconscious minds will be hearing, "Make out with me right now!"
You're attempting to sort of use real-life Inception to get making-out with you to be HER idea. She should be thinking, "I should make out with this guy."
Now, during frame control you'll be using a lot of these subconscious triggers in order to get this to go as fast as possible. Please only use this for good. There are lots of evil ways to use this.
Don't try to seduce women who don't want to be seduced. Again, that's one of the reasons why it's important that you notice a woman who really does want to be seduced by a man.
So to recap so far: you walk up, you put your finger over your lips and you tell her to "Shhh" for a second and then you say a sentence that starts with "don't" or "wait" or "stop."
My typical is "Don't worry... right now." That's all I say. And I slow that speech down – "Don't…worry…....... right now."
Then I go right into the next statement, which is, "You and I are going to have a secret. We're going to secretly kiss and no one will know."
And as I'm saying this, I'm leaning in... and you'll be doing the same when you do it. You're leaning in ever... so... slowly. At the same time, you're looking from her eyes down to her lips and back up to her eyes again.
This is called "Triangulating." Count to three looking at her eyes, then look down to her lips and count to two, look back up and count to three, look down and count to two... etc. Do that about three or four times as you're talking.
This can be a lot to remember, so you may want to practice it a little bit. I wouldn't expect you're going to get it perfect the first time.
So again, you say, "We're going to have a secret. We're going to kiss and no one is going to know." From here on out, you're really just filling up space with words as you're leaning in so you're still controlling the interaction.
So you're going to very, very slowly, take your right or left hand – whichever one is more accessible – and reach around her back. You won't pull her in toward you or anything yet, just touch her very lightly.
Signs That It's Working
Is she looking at your lips? If she's looking at your lips, you have a green light to go forward. If she's looking at your eyes, you may want to wait a second, or turn around and turn back again and try it again.
This resets the meter in her mind, so to speak. When you turn around and turn back again, most people consider this to be a fresh start in a conversation. It's a strange loop-hole in psychology.
For some reason, that's how we are as humans. When someone turns away then turns back, we give them another chance moving forward. So if you're getting some resistance, turn around, turn back, smile, and continue. If she gives you resistance again, you probably should back off and find another woman.
If she's looking at your lips and seems to be very comfortable and excited, then proceed. You'll move in very closely and speak almost directly into her ear.
!Important!
In a loud environment like a bar, you'll want to speak louder, but don't raise your voice. Make your voice very low so that you have to be very, very close to her ear for her to hear.
Then you're going to keep talking... What I usually say is, "No one is going to see this. It's just going to be our little secret. I promise I won't tell anybody only if you promise that you won't tell anybody either."
As I'm saying this into her ear, I make sure that she's feeling my breath on her neck. So I'm sort of breathing out a little bit more than normal as I'm speaking so she can feel that hot air on her neck.
This usually gets a very visceral, deep, sexual response from women when you do this.
As you're speaking really close to her ear, you'll, very slowly, press your cheek against hers as you're talking. Then you'll move you head over so that your mouth is closer to hers, and then... you'll start kissing her.
And if you do this right, you start out with just one soft peck... then go straight into making out. It may not seem like it in this description, but 40 seconds is a long time. This process can happen in a lot less than 40 seconds - I've done it in less time, and I've seen other guys do it, too.
Practice It
What I want you to do is practice this approach. Maybe go for a minute or two at first, and then get to where you can do this in about 40 (or even 30) seconds.
You won't use this tactic all the time. But when the opportunity is right, it's really good to have this in your seduction arsenal. You want to make sure that you have the right kind of tools for the job, so to speak.
Whenever you see a girl who's in that state and ready to be seduced, if you beat around the bush, engage in small talk or generally waste time, she'll be turned off and you've lost a golden seduction opportunity.
Instead, when you spot this, you want to be able to see her, know that that's what she wants, go in, and give it to her immediately. This is the major difference between guys who are rock stars at walking up and seducing a woman... and guys who wish that they were great at quickly seducing a woman.
There are a lot of other success factors as well. There are techniques on how to speak with the right tonality... how to touch her that allows her to feel comfortable and doesn't turn off any of her weird alert switches... specific NLP triggers that you can use to connect and make sure she's totally in your zone.
What's taken me from a normal dude to a well-respected dating coach, is knowing a lot of short-cuts like this and knowing when to bring them out. And these short-cuts can also improve your game with women.
Remember these characteristics in women who want to be seduced, and remember – it is possible to make out with a woman in 40 seconds or less.
Discover my other top 3 "Seduction Secrets" in this special video presentation.
3 Ways to Improve Success in Free Online Dating Sites
We are currently in an era where almost everything can be done over
the Internet. Ordering food, buying tickets to a movie, talking to
someone overseas, playing poker, dating... Yes, even dating. In 2008
alone, around 12 million people in the United States used over 100
online dating sites and since then, the number has grown exponentially.
In recent surveys, results revealed that about 20 percent of people in
committed relationships and 17 percent of married people met their
partners through these sites.
Ways to Improve Success in Free Online Dating Sites
Many people have experienced success in meeting someone they are compatible with over the Internet. Not everyone is lucky, though. If you are a newbie and just want to try it out or if you are one of those who have not been lucky yet, here are three of the most important things you need to remember to find success in free online dating sites.
1. Build an awesome profile with great photos.
Make your personality shine through your profile. Your profile and photos make or break the deal. If your profile page is interesting, there is a bigger chance that people would pay more attention. Negative statements on your profile will have the opposite effect so it's better to keep things positive. Of course, you have to face the fact that the way you look is a very important factor in getting people to pay attention. Post nice, recent photos of yourself. Instead of sticking with generic photos of you just posing for a picture, you should show that you are fun to be with by including shots of you doing interesting things.
2. Learn techniques on how to communicate effectively.
Learning the art of effective communication will help keep your prospect hooked. Asking questions about the other person will let them feel that you really want to get to know them better. You don't have to really exaggerate on compliments but a few thrown here and there would take you places as well. Try giving them positive comments about their picture or their profile. Obviously, you have to choose respectful words. Avoid being lewd or rude, especially since you were merely strangers before you encountered each other online.
3. Make a great impression on your first date.
Getting a date from the online dating site is not the measure of success. Your actual date will form the other person's view about you so the impression that make during that first date is very important. Confidence is something which can attract the other person to you but be careful because overconfidence can be quite a turn-off.
Ways to Improve Success in Free Online Dating Sites
Many people have experienced success in meeting someone they are compatible with over the Internet. Not everyone is lucky, though. If you are a newbie and just want to try it out or if you are one of those who have not been lucky yet, here are three of the most important things you need to remember to find success in free online dating sites.
1. Build an awesome profile with great photos.
Make your personality shine through your profile. Your profile and photos make or break the deal. If your profile page is interesting, there is a bigger chance that people would pay more attention. Negative statements on your profile will have the opposite effect so it's better to keep things positive. Of course, you have to face the fact that the way you look is a very important factor in getting people to pay attention. Post nice, recent photos of yourself. Instead of sticking with generic photos of you just posing for a picture, you should show that you are fun to be with by including shots of you doing interesting things.
2. Learn techniques on how to communicate effectively.
Learning the art of effective communication will help keep your prospect hooked. Asking questions about the other person will let them feel that you really want to get to know them better. You don't have to really exaggerate on compliments but a few thrown here and there would take you places as well. Try giving them positive comments about their picture or their profile. Obviously, you have to choose respectful words. Avoid being lewd or rude, especially since you were merely strangers before you encountered each other online.
3. Make a great impression on your first date.
Getting a date from the online dating site is not the measure of success. Your actual date will form the other person's view about you so the impression that make during that first date is very important. Confidence is something which can attract the other person to you but be careful because overconfidence can be quite a turn-off.
11 top online dating mistakes people make
Online dating is not a taboo anymore. Today, more and more people
are turning to online dating due to it's convenience in this busy
world. If you're deciding to try online dating or already have, here are
11 of the top online dating mistakes people make. Try to avoid these at
all cost.
1. Terrible profile picture
This is the "first impression" of the online world. Have a non-creepy picture that doesn't have you sitting in front of a mirror taking a picture of yourself with your phone. Or the crappy quality of your webcam. Even though a lot of people do this, it's better to spend some time and maybe even a little money on the quality of your pictures. Have a photographer take picture of you. Use scenery. Have a picture that sends a message about you. You also should have an updated picture of yourself. Nothing 4 years ago when you were skinny and in high school.
2. Your page gives off the wrong impression
Reread everything you put online about yourself. Don't give off a boring vibe by listing boring hobbies. Talk positive. Be ambitious and mention your goals and aspirations (unless they have to do with dragons and video games). If you want a serious partner, you have to give off a serious vibe. When you're done writing, read it again. Feel the mood your profile has and change it accordingly. You want to seem adventurous.
3. Not having fun
You have to have fun with online dating. If no one is talking to you and you're pouting, that isn't going to make it better. Don't always try hitting on everyone you find attractive. Try to make friends. Try to find people with the same interest.
4. It's a numbers game
It's all about how long you have been online and how many people you talk to. The more people you interact with the better your chances of meeting someone. It's also how far you're willing to dig or look. If you want someone in your area that is fine but it's recommended that you date within 1- 40 miles.
5. Bad advertising
This is similar to the first two but it's just so important that I have to mention it again. It's an online dating world. People don't know you so they're strictly judging you on your profile and pictures. You have to make sure you are the guy they want to date. You have to advertise yourself as someone who isn't going to waste their time.
6. State what you're looking for
Besides your profile picture, this is the second thing people look for. They want to know your intentions and what you want out of the meeting. Depending on what you have will bring different crowds of people.
7. Lying
It's okay to bend the truth. You can say you have a degree if in three months your graduating with a degree. It's not okay to say you're a millionaire when you're not. Or even worse saying you don't have kids but you really have three.
8. Too much time messaging back and forth
A lot of people are afraid to take the next step and initiate a meeting. It can last a while but every time you message after the first day of meeting each other online, the chemistry and attraction decreases with every message already. Now of course no one is eager to meet you the next day or give their number out after 15 minutes of talking but don't message like you're texting your best friend. Message here, then again later on, then again tomorrow morning, then during your break at work, and so on. By messaging periodically over a longer time frame, you won't get bored or burnt out of each other and the longer time frame will play an illusion that you're actually closer and more comfortable around each other.
9. Escalating too fast
Just as mentioned above. If you go to fast and asking for a number within 3 text, you're labeled a creep and your chances are greatly reduced. It's about building rapport.
10. Revealing too much
Leave some mystery. People love the unknown. That is what draws us to things. Don't underestimate the power of human curiosity. If possible, keep the topic on them. They will soon learn that they talked to you all this time but don't know a lot about you. That should draw them in more now as they seek information about you. Of course, don't be weird. If they ask you a question, answer it.
11. Bad username
Don't have a bad or corny username. People will turn away from you and think your a joke. The only way someone can get to know you personality online is through your text. So don't say something awkward in your profile and don't have an awkward username. Use a shorter version of your name. Abbreviate it. for example, for me it would be "lmathis". simple as that.
Put these 11 tips into practice and avoid these at all cost. If you do so, you would be amazed on how much more successful you're going to be.
1. Terrible profile picture
This is the "first impression" of the online world. Have a non-creepy picture that doesn't have you sitting in front of a mirror taking a picture of yourself with your phone. Or the crappy quality of your webcam. Even though a lot of people do this, it's better to spend some time and maybe even a little money on the quality of your pictures. Have a photographer take picture of you. Use scenery. Have a picture that sends a message about you. You also should have an updated picture of yourself. Nothing 4 years ago when you were skinny and in high school.
2. Your page gives off the wrong impression
Reread everything you put online about yourself. Don't give off a boring vibe by listing boring hobbies. Talk positive. Be ambitious and mention your goals and aspirations (unless they have to do with dragons and video games). If you want a serious partner, you have to give off a serious vibe. When you're done writing, read it again. Feel the mood your profile has and change it accordingly. You want to seem adventurous.
3. Not having fun
You have to have fun with online dating. If no one is talking to you and you're pouting, that isn't going to make it better. Don't always try hitting on everyone you find attractive. Try to make friends. Try to find people with the same interest.
4. It's a numbers game
It's all about how long you have been online and how many people you talk to. The more people you interact with the better your chances of meeting someone. It's also how far you're willing to dig or look. If you want someone in your area that is fine but it's recommended that you date within 1- 40 miles.
5. Bad advertising
This is similar to the first two but it's just so important that I have to mention it again. It's an online dating world. People don't know you so they're strictly judging you on your profile and pictures. You have to make sure you are the guy they want to date. You have to advertise yourself as someone who isn't going to waste their time.
6. State what you're looking for
Besides your profile picture, this is the second thing people look for. They want to know your intentions and what you want out of the meeting. Depending on what you have will bring different crowds of people.
7. Lying
It's okay to bend the truth. You can say you have a degree if in three months your graduating with a degree. It's not okay to say you're a millionaire when you're not. Or even worse saying you don't have kids but you really have three.
8. Too much time messaging back and forth
A lot of people are afraid to take the next step and initiate a meeting. It can last a while but every time you message after the first day of meeting each other online, the chemistry and attraction decreases with every message already. Now of course no one is eager to meet you the next day or give their number out after 15 minutes of talking but don't message like you're texting your best friend. Message here, then again later on, then again tomorrow morning, then during your break at work, and so on. By messaging periodically over a longer time frame, you won't get bored or burnt out of each other and the longer time frame will play an illusion that you're actually closer and more comfortable around each other.
9. Escalating too fast
Just as mentioned above. If you go to fast and asking for a number within 3 text, you're labeled a creep and your chances are greatly reduced. It's about building rapport.
10. Revealing too much
Leave some mystery. People love the unknown. That is what draws us to things. Don't underestimate the power of human curiosity. If possible, keep the topic on them. They will soon learn that they talked to you all this time but don't know a lot about you. That should draw them in more now as they seek information about you. Of course, don't be weird. If they ask you a question, answer it.
11. Bad username
Don't have a bad or corny username. People will turn away from you and think your a joke. The only way someone can get to know you personality online is through your text. So don't say something awkward in your profile and don't have an awkward username. Use a shorter version of your name. Abbreviate it. for example, for me it would be "lmathis". simple as that.
Put these 11 tips into practice and avoid these at all cost. If you do so, you would be amazed on how much more successful you're going to be.
Online Dating Tips for Singles Over 50
So, where does one start the process? Here are a few pointers:
- For starters, it is recommended that singles, in the 50 plus group, join one large, general site as well as a smaller site specifically targeted to their age group. A Google search will bring up a number of online dating sites from which to choose from.
- Before joining a site, decide what it is that you want out of the site. Are you looking for friendship, do you want to date, are you looking for a companion, or searching for the love of your life? It can save a lot of wasted effort, too, if you think carefully about the traits of the people you'd like to meet before starting your search. Do you want someone in the same line of work as you? Someone retired? Does age matter to you? Would smoking or drinking be problematic? Would you prefer an introvert or an extrovert? You get the idea. You may find yourself interested in people who have only some of the traits you've determined as important and that's perfectly o.k.
- Write an honest, descriptive profile. Avoid exaggeration or flat-out lying. Be yourself.
- Make sure to post a flattering photo of yourself, as well. Make it a recent photo, though. If you're unsure about the picture you're thinking of using, ask your friends for their opinion.
Eventually, though, you will find yourself communicating with someone in whom you are interested and the two of you agree to meet. Following are some tips about how to handle that first date:
- Your first date should be held in a public place, preferably during the day.
- Make sure to let someone know where you're going, with whom, and the length of time you expect to be on the date.
- Always take a cell phone with you. If you drive, park close by and don't let your date walk you to the car at the end of the date. Don't even let them know the type of car you drive.
- Until you get to really know and trust the people you meet online, it's wise to not reveal any personal information that could put you at risk.
- Awkward pauses can seem to stretch on forever during a first date! So, to keep the conversation going, you might prepare at least three conversation starters. You can ask about their last memorable meal, or places they want to visit. Movies, books, and television shows are also good conversation starters.
- It's important to remember that if, for any reason, you begin feeling uncomfortable during the date, make an excuse and leave.
Top 15 Online Dating Tips
1. Post a recent photo of yourself that's flattering and actually looks like you.
Chances are you have one really fantastic photo of yourself that was
taken at just the right angle that you look ever so slightly like Blake
Lively or Jake Gyllenhaal. Don't post that picture. Post the picture
that actually looks like you - you on a good day (in great
lighting). You want people to know what to expect and not be
disappointed when it's you who shows up for your date.2. Be unique and specific in your profile. Everyone likes to have fun, okay? Everyone likes hanging out with friends, listening to music, and "going out." So tell people something they don't already know about you, like that the beer you brewed in your backyard last summer won first prize in a home brewing contest, or that you do a brilliant version of "Tainted Love" at karaoke.
3. Avoid negative language in your profile. It should go without saying that mentioning an ex or how bad a past relationship was is a definite no-no when writing an online profile, but in the same vein, negative language (anything that starts with: "I hate," "I don't like," "I don't know") all sound lame and cast a shadow over you, too.
4. Only respond to people who interest you. If you post a flattering photo and write a unique and upbeat profile, chances are you'll get lots of responses from potential suitors. Do NOT respond to all of them. Only pick the ones who truly appeal to you to reply to. For all the others, no message is the message... and it's a lot kinder (and faster) than saying, "Hmm, no thanks."
5. Avoid Googling a potential match. Let's say you happen to get a whole name - or enough info about a potential match that you're able to track him or her on Google. Don't do it! It's more fun to learn stuff about people the old-fashioned way (through conversation), and you don't risk making presumptions or inadvertently revealing that you know something you shouldn't.
6. Keep your emails brief. A general rule of thumb: two paragraphs is ideal; respond to something that was shared with you; share something new about yourself; ask at least one question the other person can answer; and leave plenty to talk about for your first date.
7. If there's interest, meet in person quickly. Respond to messages within a day or two (three tops!), and make plans to meet up in person after you've exchanged a handful of messages. If it's been three weeks - or three months! - and you're still emailing someone you haven't made plans to meet, then what you've got is a pen-pal and there's probably a reason things haven't progressed past that.
8. Protect your privacy. Keep your address, place of employment, and other personal information to yourself until you've gone out on at least a couple dates. I mean, duh.
9. Meet in public and tell at least one person where you'll be and what time you expect to be home.
10. Plan a first date that can be short, sweet, and low-key, like lunch or a coffee date. The last thing you need is to get stuck on some long, drawn-out date with someone who bores you to tears, so use the first date to see if there's a spark (which you can figure out in about five minutes), and it there is one, you can plan something longer or more intimate for the next time.
11. Keep your options open! Just because you've had a few great email exchanges - or even a couple awesome dates - with someone doesn't mean you should log off the site just yet. People - especially ones who are practically strangers to you - have a way of being flakey and can disappear, change their minds, or simply let you down. That's not to say that won't happen at any point in your relationship, but there's a great likelihood of these things happening early on, so keep your options open until you're ready to be exclusive.
12. Don't date someone just for "practice." Let's say you've gotten a few responses to your profile, but no one is really knocking your socks off. It's been a bit of a dry spell for you and you're feeling a little rusty when it comes to dating, so you figure what's the harm in going out with one of these people just to oil the ol' engine. The harm is you're leading someone on, wasting valuable time (theirs and yours) and creating bad karma in the process. If you know you aren't interested, MOA.
13. Don't take the rejection personally. Not only can you not be everyone's type, there are plenty of reasons people pass on potential matches that have little to do with the other person. Maybe you look too much like the ex who broke his heart. His loss.
14. Take a break if you're feeling jaded. This goes back to #3. You don't have to necessarily use negative language in your profile to wreak of negativity. A bad attitude - and desperation - is just as bad. So, if you find yourself getting discouraged about the way things are going, close your account for a month or two, regroup and come back after you've cleared your head (and aura).
15. Try different sites. Another thing you can do if you're feeling discouraged, is simply try a different site. Dating sites are like restaurants - some of them have better menus than others. So if nothing at your current spot sounds appetizing, move along. There are plenty of places out there to dine...
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